50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER

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ah OISE…

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1056

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how i feel after this weekend

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"The teacher must first get to know the students emotionally and to establish an attachment with them. They must learn to trust her and to trust that she sincerely loves and cares for each one of them, however ‘unlikeable’ they may be. This is neither easy nor fast. Watson and Ecken stress that this love must be unconditional and not dispensed as a reward. Children with insecure attachments tend to see the world as confrontational and coercive and will instantly see such an emotional reward system for what it is—cheap manipulation."

— J. Hongjuan Zhang, Of mothers and teachers: roles in a pedagogy of caring

“I write about my childhood as I knew it then and as I lived it.” He may have sensed his difference, but he didn’t have words for it. He never discussed the fact that he is gay with his parents, but he thinks they knew and that’s why they never pressured him to marry and have children.

“They fell into accepting me the way I am, as many parents do, even when they don’t have the language to express their disappointment,” he says. It is a favour that Choy has returned, except that he has been lucky enough to have the words to transform their lives with grace and meaning.

— Wayson Choy (Interview in Quill & Quire, 1999)